Holiday Hopefulls

Since school was getting hectic I found very little time to make posts so for anyone who actually reads my blog I am sorry for my lack of recent updates! I've missed updating my blog and want to make a New Years resolution to stick with it! So here is an apology christmas greeting and promise to making more posts in the near future! HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Urban Outfitters dress from online; Forever 21 and antique necklace; Revlon's Just Bitten Lip Stain

I Think I Want To Marry You

One of my best friends asked me to take pictures of his brother proposing to his girlfriend at the Lion Shrine at Penn State. I was so honored to be asked and had an awesome time witnessing the cutest thing in the world! Congrats A. and M.!!

You Fancy, Huh?

I went to a formal Friday night. It was an awesome excuse to get all fancy and feel pretty.  I got a dress and shoes form Urban Outfitters and wore a necklace from Forever21. 

 My favorite shoes I own!

Howl

       In my poetry class a guest teacher, after reading one of my poems, told me to go to the library and check out any work from Allen Ginsberg, but especially to read Howl. I ended up picking up the graphic novel that was made after the original poem was written and then found out that an independent film was made in 2010 and James Franco plays the late great Ginsberg. So obviously I went home and found the movie online after reading the novel in the library and fell in love. I actually cried at the end of the movie. You're not supposed to cry, it is not a sad movie. I was just so moved by Ginsberg's words, Franco's reading, and the way the director decided to shoot the scene. BRAVO.

Strike Out

I am terrible at bowling but had a blast just being with friends and getting out of our apartments!

Halloween is my Christmas

My roommate Molly and I were the Black & White Swan. We both wore tops from Urban Outfitters that we previous purchased before, bought tutu's from The Good Will and Target and then safety pinned a feather bowa to the bottom of it. I added a vintage belt, stockings, and ballet slippers for the finishing touches!

Chicken Noodle Soup With A Photo On The Side...

      I travelled away from State College this weekend for a field hockey tournament this weekend. We lost both games, tried to go home early, we got lost, the car broke down, we stayed in Virginia for the night, our car locked their keys in the car, and then our windshield wiper flew off on the ride home. To say the least, I had one of the most tragically comical weekends and to top it off ...I am sick. So to make me feel better I am going to take a nap, make chicken noodle soup for dinner, and listen to pretty music. Enjoy my favorite snapshots of Autumn in bloom while listening to this perfect song.

Berry Beautiful 

Pumpkins & Puppies

 You know you missed VHS movies.... my roommates and I were tempted to purchase them from The Good Will and frame them!

Funfetti Cake on the move. We made cake for a friend's birthday and to celebrate her completion of her very first MARATHON. Yes, she ran the entire 26.7 miles in 4 hours and 15 minutes (thats about a nine minute mile average... I would be crawling....or dead).

Juxtaposition

Recently I have been wearing pieces that contrast each other but in a weird way just work.

Leather + Floral + Knit Vest = Matrix Prep

Leopard + grandma sweater + The Beatles = Vintage Rockstar

 Maxi Skirt + Tshirt + Cheetah = Sassy Cinderella

 Bright Yellow Shorts + Lace + Combat Boots = Neon Wild Child

Oh and rule of thumb -- Always wear high socks with boots. Just do it.

You DRIVE Me Crazy

On a random Wednesday night I went to go see a movie with a friend. He told me that it was the directors first film in Hollywood and the main character was played by Ryan Gosling (he didn't need to say anymore after mentioning him.....). The movie was Drive directed by Nicolas Winding Refn. It ended up being one of the best movies I have seen in a really long time. Plus the soundtrack rocked retro of 80's pop. Go see it.

Download and listen to "A Real Hero" by College feat. Electric Youth while watching the Refn and Ryan Goslin talk about the film.

Look of The Week

I was lucky enough to already have my phone out and spot this girl from ahead to get my camera ready.... she is kind of unbelievably awesome. In State College we don't get the privilege to witness fashonishtas like you would in New York or LA. Our campus is swarmed with sweatpants, baseball hats, and most unfortunately camouflage jackets..... sooo.. this was just a breathe of weirdly fresh air like tomato juice on skunk stink--literally her red jacket just neutralized all of State College's hideous hunting gear. My words were well chosen. Good day.

The Suit Life

My family came up for a game and we got the luxury to sit in a suite. Nice view, huh?

 P.S. I'm on the RIGHT.... some get confused...

 OH! and you noticed my cool kicks... my yellow converse shoes are my new favs.

Zip It!

This adorable wrap-around watch is from Urban Outfitters but the three SUPER cute bracelets I am sporting are hand crafted. Yes, one of my roommates sisters is so precious and made these for us and mailed them! Sorry for being selfish and wearing all of them all at once... but then again ... I'm not sorry.

Day 92:

   The time has finally come. The challenge I made myself take on just 3 months ago has been completed. How do I feel? I feel so unbelievably fortunate to have surrounded myself with some pretty amazing people who have supported me through out this entire process. Even though I have made a lot of mistakes in the past, and I accept I will still be making even more in the future, but I know that I am learning from every one of them. I didn't want to write my last post about my 90 day absence of alcohol without any real closure with the heart of why I started it. Last night I finally talked to my brother for the fist time in almost 6 months. I thought during the past 3 I was supposed to learn how to move on and live a life without a relationship with him. However, as time went on and the harder I tried not to think about it --the more emotionally invested I became in him and our lack of a relationship. I realized that people can't read minds and if you want someone to just "assume" they know how your feeling... don't. Because no one is perfect and communication is the only way to make any relationship work. So after talking to my sister about how much pain I was actually caring around all the time she talked to my dad who then told my brother that I wanted to talk to him. After he called me and left a voicemail it took me an entire week to return his call. I didn't know what to expect or how it was going to go. But hearing my brothers voice, so sincere, has lifted so much anger that I have been storing inside. We talked for 25 minutes just catching up on each other lives and we are to take it slow to maybe address deeper issues or harder topics when we both feel comfortable and ready. For now, the 25 minutes just to let him know how I am and to hear that he is happier and hoping to save enough money to visit for Thanksgiving or Christmas was exactly what I needed to feel complete about these 90 days.

    As for any questions about what I did at midnight when my time was up can be answered with these pictures.

 
       I was really nervous before about what was going to happen or what I was going to do when it came around to October 8th. I spent the night with my older sister, younger brother, and all my best friends and had a really fun night. It was an interesting learning experience... but so is life itself and I plan on taking it for what it is and to keep challenging myself to be the person I want to be. And to my older brother, Patrick, I admire his strength to stay sober and for starting a whole new life in Florida --away from everything he has ever known. I love you and so proud of you. Cheers.

-M.

Day 81: Look of The Week

My roommate L. Doesn't she have the most down-to-earth style? Extra pretty points for her.

-M

Day 80: I'm a Poet And Didn't Even Know It

The Natural Instinct To Love

We are born with a

Natural instinct to love

But when we don't feel

Love,

We hate. And that shit

Seeps into people souls

And sticks like guacamole

In your rug,

It’s easier to hate because

You get to  turn people down before

They get a chance to do it

First

Well, to all the people

Who turned me down first,

Take my fist

And stick it up your ass

Because I have no need for negativity

Like my brother needs a joint

And he is an addict,

And an alcoholic,

And an asshole,

He even had the audacity

To ask for a friendship on Facebook

Before excepting my request

For a relationship in real life.

Its like I cant do anything alone

Anymore with out being ashamed

I don't have someone to document

My every step.

I tripped going up the steps today.

I got 13 likes.

You like my pain?

That’s the shit I’m talking about

Pain is what we like to hear

Well hear this

I’M IN PAIN

Did you hear me?

No you just stare right through me

And cant even force the tiniest

Bit of remorse

Forget about a tear

Because I cant bring myself

To cry

Anymore, they've been used up on

African baby’s swollen stomachs

Stories we cant even stomach

Because our tummies are too full

Of trans fats to let the real suffering

Seep into our hearts

That have hatred branded like a fence of

Barbed wired surrounding the outer Barrier

Ever since we sat at the lunch table

Alone, topless pictures of you were Leaked

To the whole school,

Told you weren’t pretty enough,

Lied about your boyfriends getting a little too rough,

Your daddy’s dying of cancer and stuff.

We were all born with a natural instinct

To love.

So bulldoze the walls

You've left up for so long,

Smile every once in a while,

Because I don't care

If you chipped your tooth drunkenly

(or was that me?)

I like it better than

The mask you try to fool me with.

Don’t fool with the cool because

The cool don't fool

I know there was some bullshit you had

To pull through–

We all got our share

Of ugly genetics passed down

From our bipolar pop-pops and

Alcoholic aunts that tell stories

Of how they crashed their car because

Of postpartum depression.

Well, that's depressing,

And sometimes I think I’m depressed,

But turns out I just forgot

To eat lunch today.

So don't turn to your pharmacist, psychiatrist,

Therapist, your raging fists, pissed off parents,

But maybe your own consciousness.

Live the life your jealous of

Because you can never envy yourself

Love yourself

But don't get too cocky

Take care of yourself

But don't get too crazy

Actually,

I take that back.

Go get crazy.

Not wake up on Friday

Morning in mid-sweat from the

Clothes you wore last night and

Without any recollection of actions

You made after 10:00 PM in dire

Need of a drink

From the fountain

Of I hope everyone else forgot what

I did last night

No, get crazy like

Give up alcohol for 3 months

Just to see what it’s like to live sober

Or write a poem.

Because crazy things

like that, can change things

like the world.

-M.

Day 70: How Cool? ...ICE COLD

      Have you ever gotten one of those urges to do something out of the blue for no apparent reason? Well yesterday I had a very stressful day. I woke up early to drop off something at work so they asked if I wanted to work, after class ended at 11 I worked from 12-6, then I had to go to a film meeting, then write a response paper for a class. Not to mention I signed up to join a THON (a 46 hour dance marathon to raise money for pediatric cancer) committee and scheduled an interview for monday. As I was a little overwhelmed with  the activity of my day I just had the impulse to do something out of schedule, something unexpected. So my roommate and I went to go get piercings. I got my rook pierced and she got her nose (so much cooler). It was such a fun experience. The guy who pierced us was actually a 20 year old who moved to Happy Valley from Ohio just about 2 weeks prior and was so cool and to be honest we felt pretty badass afterwards...

-M.

Day 68: F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

    nick@nite has just begun to play reruns of FRIENDS late at night. As happy as I was to find this out - it probably is one of the worst things they could have done for college students. When I am trying to get work done, I now have even more excuses to procrastinate and stay up late. But in honor of the best TV series.. ever.. I thought I would show some pics of my friends whose style I recently admired!

 How cute does she look walking home from class?!

 I'm in LOVE with everything about this. The sweetheart, strapless top and gorgeous trousers are both from Urban Outfitters. And I just adore her new short hair cut! She is just adorable in every way.

This is my sister with one of my best guy friends. The dress and belt are both mine (H&M dress and JCrew belt) but I am obsessed with the shoes she paired them with! He looks pretty spiffy as well in a nice button down, khaki shorts, and Sperry Topsiders --well done guys, well done!

-M.

Day 67: My Dewy Decimal System

   I was in the library looking for a poetry book, in hopes of finding a poem to recite for my english class. But of course I got distracted, took some pics, and thought about how I think of my closet as my own little library. Some have history, some are newer additions I added to the collection. My clothes are put together by category and look just as pretty as books on a shelf!

-M.