Howl

       In my poetry class a guest teacher, after reading one of my poems, told me to go to the library and check out any work from Allen Ginsberg, but especially to read Howl. I ended up picking up the graphic novel that was made after the original poem was written and then found out that an independent film was made in 2010 and James Franco plays the late great Ginsberg. So obviously I went home and found the movie online after reading the novel in the library and fell in love. I actually cried at the end of the movie. You're not supposed to cry, it is not a sad movie. I was just so moved by Ginsberg's words, Franco's reading, and the way the director decided to shoot the scene. BRAVO.

Strike Out

I am terrible at bowling but had a blast just being with friends and getting out of our apartments!

Halloween is my Christmas

My roommate Molly and I were the Black & White Swan. We both wore tops from Urban Outfitters that we previous purchased before, bought tutu's from The Good Will and Target and then safety pinned a feather bowa to the bottom of it. I added a vintage belt, stockings, and ballet slippers for the finishing touches!

Chicken Noodle Soup With A Photo On The Side...

      I travelled away from State College this weekend for a field hockey tournament this weekend. We lost both games, tried to go home early, we got lost, the car broke down, we stayed in Virginia for the night, our car locked their keys in the car, and then our windshield wiper flew off on the ride home. To say the least, I had one of the most tragically comical weekends and to top it off ...I am sick. So to make me feel better I am going to take a nap, make chicken noodle soup for dinner, and listen to pretty music. Enjoy my favorite snapshots of Autumn in bloom while listening to this perfect song.

Berry Beautiful 

Pumpkins & Puppies

 You know you missed VHS movies.... my roommates and I were tempted to purchase them from The Good Will and frame them!

Funfetti Cake on the move. We made cake for a friend's birthday and to celebrate her completion of her very first MARATHON. Yes, she ran the entire 26.7 miles in 4 hours and 15 minutes (thats about a nine minute mile average... I would be crawling....or dead).

Juxtaposition

Recently I have been wearing pieces that contrast each other but in a weird way just work.

Leather + Floral + Knit Vest = Matrix Prep

Leopard + grandma sweater + The Beatles = Vintage Rockstar

 Maxi Skirt + Tshirt + Cheetah = Sassy Cinderella

 Bright Yellow Shorts + Lace + Combat Boots = Neon Wild Child

Oh and rule of thumb -- Always wear high socks with boots. Just do it.

You DRIVE Me Crazy

On a random Wednesday night I went to go see a movie with a friend. He told me that it was the directors first film in Hollywood and the main character was played by Ryan Gosling (he didn't need to say anymore after mentioning him.....). The movie was Drive directed by Nicolas Winding Refn. It ended up being one of the best movies I have seen in a really long time. Plus the soundtrack rocked retro of 80's pop. Go see it.

Download and listen to "A Real Hero" by College feat. Electric Youth while watching the Refn and Ryan Goslin talk about the film.

Look of The Week

I was lucky enough to already have my phone out and spot this girl from ahead to get my camera ready.... she is kind of unbelievably awesome. In State College we don't get the privilege to witness fashonishtas like you would in New York or LA. Our campus is swarmed with sweatpants, baseball hats, and most unfortunately camouflage jackets..... sooo.. this was just a breathe of weirdly fresh air like tomato juice on skunk stink--literally her red jacket just neutralized all of State College's hideous hunting gear. My words were well chosen. Good day.

The Suit Life

My family came up for a game and we got the luxury to sit in a suite. Nice view, huh?

 P.S. I'm on the RIGHT.... some get confused...

 OH! and you noticed my cool kicks... my yellow converse shoes are my new favs.

Zip It!

This adorable wrap-around watch is from Urban Outfitters but the three SUPER cute bracelets I am sporting are hand crafted. Yes, one of my roommates sisters is so precious and made these for us and mailed them! Sorry for being selfish and wearing all of them all at once... but then again ... I'm not sorry.

Day 92:

   The time has finally come. The challenge I made myself take on just 3 months ago has been completed. How do I feel? I feel so unbelievably fortunate to have surrounded myself with some pretty amazing people who have supported me through out this entire process. Even though I have made a lot of mistakes in the past, and I accept I will still be making even more in the future, but I know that I am learning from every one of them. I didn't want to write my last post about my 90 day absence of alcohol without any real closure with the heart of why I started it. Last night I finally talked to my brother for the fist time in almost 6 months. I thought during the past 3 I was supposed to learn how to move on and live a life without a relationship with him. However, as time went on and the harder I tried not to think about it --the more emotionally invested I became in him and our lack of a relationship. I realized that people can't read minds and if you want someone to just "assume" they know how your feeling... don't. Because no one is perfect and communication is the only way to make any relationship work. So after talking to my sister about how much pain I was actually caring around all the time she talked to my dad who then told my brother that I wanted to talk to him. After he called me and left a voicemail it took me an entire week to return his call. I didn't know what to expect or how it was going to go. But hearing my brothers voice, so sincere, has lifted so much anger that I have been storing inside. We talked for 25 minutes just catching up on each other lives and we are to take it slow to maybe address deeper issues or harder topics when we both feel comfortable and ready. For now, the 25 minutes just to let him know how I am and to hear that he is happier and hoping to save enough money to visit for Thanksgiving or Christmas was exactly what I needed to feel complete about these 90 days.

    As for any questions about what I did at midnight when my time was up can be answered with these pictures.

 
       I was really nervous before about what was going to happen or what I was going to do when it came around to October 8th. I spent the night with my older sister, younger brother, and all my best friends and had a really fun night. It was an interesting learning experience... but so is life itself and I plan on taking it for what it is and to keep challenging myself to be the person I want to be. And to my older brother, Patrick, I admire his strength to stay sober and for starting a whole new life in Florida --away from everything he has ever known. I love you and so proud of you. Cheers.

-M.