Day 92:

   The time has finally come. The challenge I made myself take on just 3 months ago has been completed. How do I feel? I feel so unbelievably fortunate to have surrounded myself with some pretty amazing people who have supported me through out this entire process. Even though I have made a lot of mistakes in the past, and I accept I will still be making even more in the future, but I know that I am learning from every one of them. I didn't want to write my last post about my 90 day absence of alcohol without any real closure with the heart of why I started it. Last night I finally talked to my brother for the fist time in almost 6 months. I thought during the past 3 I was supposed to learn how to move on and live a life without a relationship with him. However, as time went on and the harder I tried not to think about it --the more emotionally invested I became in him and our lack of a relationship. I realized that people can't read minds and if you want someone to just "assume" they know how your feeling... don't. Because no one is perfect and communication is the only way to make any relationship work. So after talking to my sister about how much pain I was actually caring around all the time she talked to my dad who then told my brother that I wanted to talk to him. After he called me and left a voicemail it took me an entire week to return his call. I didn't know what to expect or how it was going to go. But hearing my brothers voice, so sincere, has lifted so much anger that I have been storing inside. We talked for 25 minutes just catching up on each other lives and we are to take it slow to maybe address deeper issues or harder topics when we both feel comfortable and ready. For now, the 25 minutes just to let him know how I am and to hear that he is happier and hoping to save enough money to visit for Thanksgiving or Christmas was exactly what I needed to feel complete about these 90 days.

    As for any questions about what I did at midnight when my time was up can be answered with these pictures.

 
       I was really nervous before about what was going to happen or what I was going to do when it came around to October 8th. I spent the night with my older sister, younger brother, and all my best friends and had a really fun night. It was an interesting learning experience... but so is life itself and I plan on taking it for what it is and to keep challenging myself to be the person I want to be. And to my older brother, Patrick, I admire his strength to stay sober and for starting a whole new life in Florida --away from everything he has ever known. I love you and so proud of you. Cheers.

-M.